Lego Star Wars II: The Original Trilogy
So I know what you’re thinking… “B.T. Why, why is this a DPG post!? Its a kids game. DPG is suppose to be more adult themed after all aren’t you drunk?”
Yes. Sorry that wasn’t sufficient enough? Okay, note that I’m stealing this beginning for a video, seriously though while this game is for kids and is even a downgraded and simplified port of the Lego Star Wars II Game. I feel justified in my anger of this game. After all its a game for everyone and while I’m not everyone I am someone. Someone you know with some drunken anger.
So let’s start at the beginning: the Lego games series based on movies are actually generally good games even non-drunk B.T. would concur. They are enjoyable in that they are entertaining with often slapstick comedy playing through out scenes. The PC and Console versions of this game are equally good in relation to the others in the Lego games series. Entire then the GBA version. This version has no real comedy and scenes try to convey emotions through little emote icons… which is so lacking compared to the console or PC versions and any comedy that could be had just isn’t really there.
The GBA version of this game has been reviewed critically and the DS version whoa is that one a piece of shit… So much so that the GBA version scores average 50-60’s and the DS one averages 40-50’s. But since we’re not really talking about the DS, ignore it. So then B.T. where is your anger or why?
Even a drunken review still needs to have some intelligence mixed in with the drunken garbled stupor or at least jokes. My first gripe of many sober or drunk is that the camera is crap and is too close to the characters. Often times this leads to getting hit from blaster shots that come from enemies that just randomly apparated in. And that doesn’t even make sense! Apparition is something from the Harry Potter universe that’s a different Lego game altogether!
Another thing that boils my Dagobah soup is the games length. While this game is suppose to depict the stories of the original trilogy there are only a total of 16 short levels in the game, episodes IV & V both have 5 and episode VI has 6. They poorly depict the story of these movies through the levels. And most of the time I just wanted to get through the levels.
Some of the areas in those levels can be completely avoided/skipped and the only reason one would go through out each level is to collect the studs (and we’re talking about the single circular button Lego) which is this game and every Lego video game that follows this style’s currency or the minikits that allow you to unlock characters. If you have know clue what I’m talking about, that’s fine but believe me when I say you don’t want to be caught by one of Jabba’s hired guns without a few spare studs specially if you don’t intend to shoot first.
The studs as I said are the games currency and you can buy extra characters to play as, some effects that affect players or the world. You can also buy hints and while this game isn’t the first game to have this in their game it is the first game to infuriate me on. Do they believe us adults are this dumb!? Yes. But the game is for children and maybe I should go to Hoth and chill and I would but let me finish: Kids aren’t this dumb do they think kids are idiots? Probably.
“B.T what are you on about?” Clearly I’m not articulating the probability of successfully navigating an asteroid field which we all know is 3,720 to 1 (thank you C-3PO) but rather you have to pay studs albeit only a few hundred of them for “hints” hints such as ‘collecting studs through out the game so you can buy more hints!’ Thanks game! Even children can figure this out. Or how bout ‘ vehicle controls can be change in the option menu’ why is this a hint you have to buy and not I don’t know just apparent in game? This is stuff that should be in the games little instruction booklet not in the game as something you need to purchase.
Okay, cool it down B.T. Or we may have to freeze you in carbonite… Can I say anything positive about this game? Of course you know I’d say no… but there is only one distinct thing about this game compared to its console or PC versions of the game. There are three characters that are playable that can’t be gotten in any of the other versions of this game. Two characters are droids and one is a creature; the first droid is that of K-3PO. Who is that I hear you asking? Oh you know good old K-3PO even if you think you don’t you do… K-3PO is a protocol droid much like C-3PO but is instead white colored, and was in the rebel base on Hoth during the time of Empires attack on Hoth and is visible in the movie. That’s honestly the only cool thing about K-3PO, its just a color swapped version of C-3PO.
The second droid happens to be R2-Q5 an R2 astromech droid however this droid was in the service of the Empire and existed on the second Death Star and was visible in the movie (Return of the Jedi). But much like K-3PO, R2-Q5 is pretty much a color swapped version of the heroic R2-D2 but Q5 was colored all black with bronze panel trimming. If you like droids these two inclusions are kind of neat but the last character is the coolest one of the three exclusives.
That character like I stated is a creature but it happens to be one of the most vicious creatures we have seen in the Star Wars universe in the movies… it is a Rancor. But not any big mean vicious monstrosity no it happens to be a Baby Rancor. Which is oddly enough cute.
The saddest thing to be honest is that this isn’t even the worst Star Wars handheld game… there’s worse! While I don’t give games scores any more if I was to give this a score I would say:
“This r2 unit has a bad motivator, look” / 10”
Thanks for checking out this post, note the Game Vs. Game was pushed back for added content to the post it’s going to be a big one!
I already reviewed Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith (console version) check it out by clicking the game image below-
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